I missed my first blog post last week.

I set a goal for myself to write one post and publish it weekly. Just after talking about hitting a year in the previous post, I missed my first one.

I really was going back and forth on this all week. It stuck in my brain and nagged me. I thought about writing up a quick post, something half-assed, but that didn’t really feel like the spirit of why I’m doing this. 

That’s also not to say that I aim for perfection each week. 

Part of the weekly goal is to force myself to put something out there, regardless of whether or not it’s totally finished by the time Sunday evening (or occasionally Monday) rolls along.

So, yes. I could’ve half-assed a post last week. I could’ve also beat myself up about it all week. And at times, I did dog on myself, but I wasn’t as harsh as I have been, which is probably much better than how I would’ve handled it mentally in years past.

If you’re like me, it’s far too easy to be hard on yourself.

I can constantly tear myself down through my inner dialogue. If I’m not careful, this negative talk track can run wild in my mind, getting away from me and operating independently of any logical thought.

I can tell myself mean things, things that make me sad and want to isolate myself.

In years past, I probably would’ve told myself something like, “oh, you missed this week? It doesn’t matter because you’re a bad writer anyways.” Or alternatively, “you missed this week? You might as well miss next week…and the week after.” 

Sometimes, that internal dialogue makes it hard to keep going with a given habit.

On the Move

Another example is with my recent exercise habits.

I recently moved to a new area at the beginning of February. When I moved, all my habits were tossed up in the air.

Moving in February proved to be extra tricky because it’s not quite long enough after the holidays for me to feel like I’ve reestablished a lot of those routines.

So, when the move happened, I felt adrift. I had no sense of routine. I was adjusting to a new work commute. I had no idea where to start.

After a couple weeks of mental misery, I finally just decided to commit to a routine I liked at least a little bit, choosing to work out on days when I didn’t have to deal with my commute. 

It isn’t perfect, and I’m still adjusting, but it’s a start.

I’m not perfect with handling these situations. I certainly felt some sort of anguish over not publishing a post last Sunday, and I felt bad for not going to the gym as much as I had been before the holidays.

I also like to think that I handled it a little bit better than I would have in the past. Not perfect, but progress.

These are a couple ideas that help me when it comes to navigating troubled waters.

Start Where You Can

The first thing that helps me when I’m struggling with my own inner critic is starting where I’m able.

In the gym example, I gave up on trying to make my routine look exactly like it did before. If I’m being honest, I was starting to get tired of the old routine anyways. 

The move was a chance for much needed change.

When I decided to reevaluate my routine, I had to think about what I was willing to do now, not what I was doing in the past. 

Being honest with myself, I realized I was willing to go to the gym 3 times a week for 30-50 minutes at a time. That’s it. 

Maybe once I’m back in a routine, I’ll be willing to bump those numbers up, but at the moment, that’s what I’m willing to do. 

I’m starting there because starting smaller than you want is better than not starting at all.

Talking to a Friend

It feels way easier to give advice to friends than to give it to yourself. You’re going to be much nicer and gentler with a friend.

Whenever I give advice to someone else, I consider their position and talk with them, not at them. I don’t expect them to perform the impossible (at least I hope that’s how I come across).

When I talk to myself, it’s vastly different. It can sound like “why didn’t you do this?” or “you should’ve done that, stupid.”

If my inner monologue had its way, its advice would’ve been to travel back in time to publish a blog post on Sunday evening so that I never missed in the first place. Not very applicable advice.

Instead, I tried to talk to myself about the blog post like I would a friend.

I told myself that I could write one late if I wanted or I could just get back on the saddle the following week. There were options. It wasn’t the end of the world. It’s not ideal, but it’s not an insurmountable challenge either.

Don't Make It a Habit

Finally, I remind myself to not make the miss a habit.

Prior to last week, I had published 53 weeks in a row. I’m proud of that. Those consecutive weeks demonstrate the habit I want to have in my life.

One miss last week is a bad week, but it’s nowhere near as defining as the prior streak.

Two misses, though, start to become a new trend. A new habit starts to take shape. One that I don’t want.

When I miss with a habit, I try to get back on the horse immediately after. If you miss a gym session, that’s ok, but don’t miss the next one.

I missed a post. That’s ok. I’m publishing one this week.

A one off is normal. Much to my inner critic’s chagrin, I’m far from perfect. If I keep this thing going, I’ll likely miss other weeks at times too.

Two-in-a-row is different. That’s when a new pattern starts to form.

Try not to let that new habit form.

A Little Better

These ideas aren’t perfect. I wish I always talked to myself like my own friend. Sometimes, I will miss a habit two days in a row. (Those are the times I particularly want to be able to talk to myself like a friend).

I’ve found that they help push myself in the right direction, though.

Hopefully, this meta-analysis of my writing habit wasn’t too unbearable.

It’s somewhat funny to me that missing a weekly post inspired the next one, but I shouldn’t be too surprised. Often times, a week’s post is about something that’s been on my mind throughout a given a week, and this habit has definitely been at the forefront recently,

These are just some of the tools that helped me this past week and in life at large.

Sure, I beat myself up at times, but I also think I did a little better than in the past. I’ll take a little better. A little better over a long time might just make a big difference.

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